Sunday, March 4, 2012

Maher lights up the Kiva

A kiva is a meditation site often furnished with a firepit as a focus. Last night, the packed Kiva Auditorium in the Albuquerque Convention Center was blazing.

Now, ip doesn't use teevee but knows that although Bill Maher started his career as an equal opportunity offender; he has become a committed roaster of the earth hater party.

@billmaher via his twitter feed:
Just landed in Albuquerque - excited for my stand up show tonight at the Kiva - haven't played here since 04!
Reminiscent of David Crosby's 1980 performance at The Catalyst in Santa Cruz, Maher walked onto the stage not only in the midst of uproarious applause, but in what apparently was a cloud of cannabis smoke. His opening line:
How can anyone not do this high? People will even drink Coors Light to get high.
After a brief acknowledgement of the 2012 GOP presidential field as a bunch of losers he said that the winner even after the multitudinous debates is clearly Barack Obama.

Railing on the religious tone of the earth hater race he said:
The only Catholics not using birth control are priests.
And:
It's better to leave kids in the road than hiring Republicans as babysitters.
On President Obama's patience with the earth hater party, Maher said:
Among Republicans Obama is like a Special Ed teacher.
And, that although the first Obama term has been the "White Term," the second will be "The African-American Term."

Maher said he supports capital punishment. He moved on to the TEA Party saying that they have the same agenda as Steve Forbes. He mused about the militant Right saying:
Guys named Vern and Earl expect to take on the FBI and Homeland Security.
How could he have known that ip had been saying that very same thing at 4and20 Blackbirds in a verbal war with those same inbred bozos.

He continued:
Republicans would turn the United States into a strip mall. They have made divorce about who doesn't get the house. Americans are in the closet about socialism. The GOP's vision of health care is called: "Die-Or-Go-Fuck-Yourselves-Plus."
On religion:
Religion is selling an invisible product. Mormonism is so crazy Tom Cruise wouldn't even join it. A third of Americans think Darwin was the husband on Bewitched. Americans are now tenth in the American Dream. Republicans can't get laid, so they fuck the Earth and have zero tolerance for the facts. John Boehner should have to show his dick to prove he's a man.
More on the GOP field:
Newt Gingich is so slimy he would die if someone hit him with a box of salt. Sarah Palin having a show on the Discovery Channel is like me having a show on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
In the final minutes of the show after a drink of water and a glance at his notes on a small lighted lectern stage left, he said: "...now, I'm not hear to mock religion..." Someone in the audience let out such a loud cackle that it became a roar from the rest of us. He continued:
Well, the good news is that someday soon the only way we will know the Pope is as a giant balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
With that, after an hour and a half show, he thanked the rowdy audience and exited to a standing ovation.

Kirsten Powers penned a bitchy biting an invidious rejoinder to Maher's message at The Daily Beast.

4 comments:

D.E. Bishop said...

Hahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahahaahahaha Hahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahaha


Maher is hilarious! Thanks so much for the post. Here is my favorite:

"Newt Gingich is so slimy he would die if someone hit him with a box of salt."

I LOLed in this coffee shop, snorting and chuckling and trying not to make a great big scene. (I was already making a medium-sized scene.)

I'm forwarding that particular joke, and a link to your sight, to my friends.

Muchas gracias.

larry kurtz said...

There were so many more but could not keep up on the tweets.

Thanks for coming by, Ms. Bishop.

D.E. Bishop said...

I usually do drop by. Whether I agree or not, and usually it's more a matter of degrees, I admire your passion and trust your honorable intentions.

larry kurtz said...

We should be clear, Ms. Bishop: my intentions are anything but honorable.

I will say anything that motivates Democrats to get thee to the polls and reverse red state collapse.

Looks like Minnesotans are sick to death of GOP bullshit, too.

Death to the earth hater party.